I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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