i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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