Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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