I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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