So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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