we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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