belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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