I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize