yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize