she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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