my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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