Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
