I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She's the barista slut.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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