the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
