the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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