P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
