walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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