one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
