Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
