Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
