Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
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I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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