well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
