OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is it because I queefed?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
