I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
40s are totally the cure
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
