I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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