turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
