Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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