how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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