Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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