He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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