I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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