using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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