you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
