He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize