well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
