I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
