I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize