We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
