quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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