It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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