About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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