ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
