after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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