Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
