A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
