Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
