Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
