i think i have herpe
just one?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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