yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
