Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
