just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
