writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
