I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
