Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
