His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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