No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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