The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
