I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
