There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
