I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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