good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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